WOW!!! And OMG, I'm a Mummy!

A long time since my last blog as I have been a little busy. I gave birth to a beautiful baby boy on 23rd January at 6.33pm. He was perfectly healthy, weighing 7lb 8oz and had a full head of thick, dark hair - which explains the horrendous heart burn I suffered throughout the majority of the pregnancy.

After 9 months (well less 5 days) we had our baby boy in our arms, WOW!!! And OMG, I'm a Mummy! Labour was by no means easy, but now 4 and a half weeks later it is pretty much forgotten and it was all so worth it. I cant believe my little boy is already a month old. So that was one journey complete, and now a new one is starting and it is so exciting!!!

2 days after giving birth, the arthritis flared and it felt as though I had hit a brick wall. But my son, gave me the motivation to keep going and with some fantastic support from my midwife and GP practice I was given a hospital appointment with my new consultant. It was a very productive appointment and the consultant listened to my wishes too. I am going to go through all the tests again to see what the condition of my bones are like and to try and get a more definite diagnosis on my condition and then get a treatment plan in place to help me get the best quality of life but balancing it by trying to avoid the drugs which give nasty side effects. So at the moment I am managing it with pain relief and anti-inflammatories.

I'm enjoying being a mummy so much, but the arthritis does make some parts challenging. Like the night feeds when I have stiffened up and cant get out of bed when he is crying for a feed. It is amazing how much of a motivation he is and just pushes me beyond where I would previously have given up. As usual I am lucky to have fantastic support from my husband and family and I'm looking forward to the coming days, weeks and months! I'm just hoping it doesnt go too fast as this time is so precious.

So now the journey of motherhood......

The Waiting Game

Sorry for the delay in posting. It has been a busy month or so.

We eventually moved and now just about sorted in our new house ready for the arrival of our little baby. It really does feel like a weight has been lifted now, just knowing that we have the room to grow as a family. We moved 10 days before Christmas and I was 34 weeks pregnant. I felt slightly useless, I don't like not being able to do things, you'd think with the arthritis I'd be used to it by now. Moving this late on in pregnancy and so close to Christmas is something I will try not to repeat; however it feels awesome now we are settled.

Bump has continued to grow and continued to be trouble - since my last post we have had another 2 visits to hospital having contractions. First visit was New Years Eve, and again another good experience, they also tried feeding me up in case I was going into labour and the food couldn't have been more of a contrast to the previous visit. It wasn't slop this time, in fact hubby described it as almost gourmet. Bump had suddenly dropped and I no longer looked 8 months pregnant, and yippee some relief from the heartburn. I was having contractions but not dilating, the hospital said I had an irritable uterus. Wonderful! So they let me out and we went and celebrated NYE with my family. I hadn't been as hungry as I was in the whole pregnancy either, I had a good go at the spread mum had laid out, I was convinced the baby was going to be here very soon. We are still waiting.

On Saturday 5th I was in so much pain that I was in tears, it hurt to move. The pain was low down but no contractions. I called the hospital for advice who said rest and take paracetamol, this done nothing and at midday contractions started. They began 10-12 minutes apart but by about 8pm they were only 2-3 minutes apart. I was convinced that this was it. So a little scared I called the hospital who told me to come in. This time I didn't even freak out when I was taken straight into a delivery room. The staff were lovely again, I had the monitor again, they wanted to check babies movements as my little terror is usually very active in the evening and I had only felt about 3 movements since 6pm. They must have thought I was lying as, as soon as the monitor was hooked up it didn't stop moving. Contractions were measured again and I was 1cm dilated, babies head wasn't engaged and they didn't think anything was going to happen. Again an irritable uterus was making me feel how I was, along with a possible water infection which I will need to wait until the end of the week for the results. I was sent home and told to continue with regular paracetamol. This I have done, and had lots of rest. I do however have this little problem that I seem to be falling asleep anytime I sit down. Which I suppose is good as I cant get comfortable and sleep at night.

So today I am 37 weeks 2 days, so officially full term now. It feels like I have been pregnant forever and that I'm going to be pregnant forever. I'm getting very uncomfortable now and fed up, not helped by the fact my arthritis is flaring with the ever changing weather. OK, so maybe I'm just mainly impatient and want to meet our little one. I want to know if its a boy or girl now too. Off to see the midwife this afternoon and just trying to keep my mind active and fingers crossed baby will come soon.

I would also like to congratulate my friend at operationuptheduff.blogspot.com on the birth of their daughter on the 20th December, I believe operation is complete! Its been a long journey, but it is proof the end is in sight.

I am so excited to meet my little one, the end of one journey but the start of the next! Keep you all posted. As usual thanks for reading.

Finally.....

..........a good hospital experience to report!


Why cant I ever be normal? An unexpected hospital stay. A bit scary but also got some other questions answered which I've had for a long time. But I have to praise the hospital, the standard of care has been top notch, as they say there is a first time for everything! And they dealt so well with my freak out at being taken straight to the delivery room.

So I wake up Tuesday fine, 31 weeks+1. At about quarter to 9 I start getting the pain and pressure I experienced a few weeks back. I carried on with the days plans knowing I had a midwife appointment booked in at 1.15 anyway. I went to see the midwife as planned and was just told to call and arrange some physio as it was likely just to be my body stretching etc.. The pain seemed to subside for the rest of the afternoon until I was eating dinner, at 7.15 the pain came back with a vengeance and became more intense and frequent. Coming in waves every 3-4 minutes. I stayed calm but at quarter to 9 when it wasn't getting any better I was starting to get a little worried. As you know I'm not shy of pain, dealing with arthritis on a daily basis. I called the hospital and was told to go straight up. Oh My God, nothing is ready, I haven't packed my hospital bag, baby's clothes aren't washed yet, in fact I don't even think I've got enough baby clothes. So hard to tell when all our things are spread across ours and our parents houses at the moment as we are waiting to move.

We arrived at the hospital about 9.15, was not expecting to be taken into a delivery room. In all honesty I was expecting them to quickly check me over then tell me to go home. Had a bit of a freak out. I was not going into that room, this baby was not coming now. I was however in too much pain to put up much of a fight and kept being told 'Its the best place for both me and baby to be.' So I went into the room, it wasn't what I was expecting - it was huge! And not as surgical or full of equipment as I thought. I was wired up to a monitor which records baby's heartbeat and any contractions. It was scary, but reassuring to see baby's heartbeat was fine. Contractions recorded quite frequently for a while until I had to re-adjust my positioning to get comfortable at which time they didn't seem to pick up on the monitor when they were happening.

I saw a doc who done the usual checks. After having to ask what the industrial looking torch was for (I knew I didn't really want to know that answer). I wasn't dilating which was good. But she wanted to keep me in for monitoring. My urine had shown an infection so had to start some antibiotics, how bizarre, about 8 hours previous at my midwife appointment it was fine. Then I was told I needed a cannula inserted, not impressed, I don't like these. I hate the feeling of them in me and being able to see them under my skin. A bit squeamish with things like that! But it was best for baby for any emergency medication or if they needed to give me anything to stop the contractions. As my veins collapse easily they arranged for the an anaesthetist to come and do this and at the same time take blood. She was fantastic and I was able to discuss with the her the easiness and effects of an epidural or spinal block if needed due to my arthritis. It shouldnt be a problem and something which they will get around at the time if needed and which I can discuss with them at anytime so I felt reassured about this.

The doc also done a quick scan to check the baby's positioning as unlike the midwife in the afternoon they wasn't sure that the baby was head down and actually thought it was transverse which could be a problem if I was going into labour. But baby was head down so that was reassuring too.

It was decided that I needed to have some steroids as if baby decided to come then it would help mature its lungs to give it the best chance. This is administered by 2 injections 12-24 hours apart. So I was also stabbed with my first dose of this in my right thigh. And tonight have noticed a nice big ugly bruise it has left! The pain started to subside around midnight and whilst I was still experiencing tightenings and pressure the pain wasn't there like it had been. I was to be transferred onto the ward.

I got to the ward about 3am Wednesday by which point even the tightenings were less frequent and I was starting to relax. Hubby left and I was on the ward wanting to cry, I had definitely not planned any of this. Some of my family who are ITFC supporters thought it was just an excuse so they couldn't mention the win they'd had over my team. As I said we just felt that ITFC needed the points more than we did right now!

Sleep isn't all that possible in hospital, they are such busy places but I must have got about an hour and a half. About 7am I was handed a lunch and dinner menu. 5 minutes later when I was asked to make my choice my answer was 'Well I don't intend to be in here by then.' I had to chose anyway, not really the time of day I want to be choosing food. But I chose, jacket potato with butter followed by vanilla ice cream for lunch and then cottage pie followed by orange jelly for dinner. Before long it was breakfast, luke warm toast and solid butter and orange juice. Kept the orange juice for hubby later as I didn't fancy it. I was glad when I was offered tea!

Time drags and the clock moves very slowly. They wanted a urine sample and found ketones and glucose traces, so for the rest of the day they wanted to collect my urine and measure and test in case I had any diabetes develop since my GTT test 3 weeks ago which came back clear. The monitor was put on me again and I had my obs done. No contractions, still the tightening on and off with twinges. The concern however was that my pulse was up to around 112 and the babies was around the same, so they got the machine to record my pulse too. This was then reviewed by my obstetric consultant and her team when they came around 10am. It was decided I would continue the antibiotics, have the 2nd steroid dose at some point later that day. She also decided to send me for an ultrasound to check baby in more detail, measurements etc.. and for me to continue being monitored including have some blood prick tests to check for diabetes alongside the urine testing. When they left hubby was waiting outside the curtain; I was so happy to see him. We were soon sent down for the scan which was even more detailed that the last time, all of the babies ribs were clearly seen along with facial features. However,  I didn't look too much as I didn't want to chance seeing the babies sex.

It wasn't long before lunch turned up, at the time I was however seeing a student midwife who was feeling my tummy and doing the usual checks. So by the time I got to eat, the jacket potato was cooling down, however it was going to be bland anyway. My ice cream on the other hand now resembled more of a mousse. OK, I suppose you cant expect any gourmet food!

I sent hubby home just before 1 as he looked so tired and I wanted him to get some sleep. I thought I might myself be able to get a little bit of sleep. However, as I say hospitals are busy places and along with the constant need to wee I didn't really get much rest. At just after 1pm, a midwife brought me some sexy stockings to prevent any clots. Great idea, I did however wonder why this had come 16 hours after I had first come in.

The rest of the afternoon moved rather slowly and still I couldn't sleep. Clock watching I am sure makes the time go even slower. I even took to counting the dots on the ceiling, I didn't get too far with that either before I lost concentration. I spoke with a few other girls on the ward and heard some of their stories but in general it was quite quiet. My urine seemed to get better with the traces of ketones and glucose getting smaller. This was all looking positive along with not experiencing contractions anymore. I was really hoping I would go home soon now.

I had more monitoring start at 4pm and the midwife was pleased to see my pulse had lowered and the babies heartbeat was no longer showing the same as me. It also monitored the babies movements which I was pleased to say was back into its normal patterns. The monitor was showing both babies heart beat and my pulse were varying but definitely 2 very different readings and generally staying around where they would expect to be. Hubby turned up as this monitoring was coming to an end, and next thing I knew it was dinner. What can I say? Slop? I don't know the words couldn't quite describe it so I managed to capture a picture. And I'm sure you'll agree, that's not the orange jelly I ordered. Hubby was happy though as he got that too!

My obstetric consultants registrar came to see me and I had my second prick test which showed a drop from 8.something to 4.something, which was in normal range, my urine was also OK now. The scan was all normal and showed baby was well within the averages for what was to be expected at 31 weeks. So i asked about going home. It was agreed I could, I'd just need to have my second steroid injection. They were trying to suggest this was done at midnight so that it was the 24 hours apart however after some sweet negotiations I made them see that if they done it at 9, I could then go home that evening with hubby and free up the bed. It was agreed, yay!!! So at a little after 9 I was given my injection and eventually got the cannula out which felt amazing as it had made my hand so itchy. I was given my antibiotics and sent on my way - feeling a bit sore from all the prodding and poking, a bruised hand from the cannula and much in need of sleep, after having only 1 and a half hours in the last 38. I have to say I was very happy to be home, as much as its filled with packed boxes, when we got in at 10pm, and very pleased to see my little pup until he thought my legs would make a comfortable pillow! I slept well, waking up a few times as usual for my nightly toilet visits and gaviscon doses, but slept until about 9.30.

Today I am feeling much better, quite drained and a bit of a headache but so glad to be home. I will be getting lots of rest as I have a feeling I might not have quite as much of that left as we had originally thought, but over the next week I will be packing my hospital bag and with the help of mum getting all of babies clothes ready, just in case!

I want to enjoy the rest of the pregnancy, its so amazing growing this little person inside me. However, ideally I would like it to stay put just a little longer, as much as I cant wait to meet him/her I want it to have the best chance and that means at least another 6 weeks to take me full term, 37weeks.

I am pleased to say I am feeling much more confident about the whole situation now when it does happen, after this hospital stay, as they were brilliant. I also know what to expect from the delivery room, wards etc... I will also know that we need to have plenty of snacks, dont really want any hospital food again in a hurry! Enough chatting, from me, plus I could probably do with some more sleep. Well if this little monster lets me, kicking away happily as usual. Got to be male with all this its been putting me through!

IF........???

Well last week was different! I woke up at 4a.m Monday morning being ill and then had sudden immense pressure low down and intense pains, I thought I was in labour! The pain and pressure was still there by midday at which point I called the midwife. I was really scared, far too early for baby to arrive and I am so not ready yet. The midwife came and checked on me, said it could be a sign of early labour and to call hospital if it got any worse. She also told me babies head was down. This done nothing to relieve my panic.
The pain or pressure didn't go but I managed to sleep, and felt reassured as I had an antenatal appointment at the hospital the following day anyway, so I'd be in the best place if anything did happen. Tuesday morning the pressure was still awful, feeling like I needed to wee but nothing was coming out. The pains kept coming in waves too. The appointment was the normal 28 week check and glucose tolerance test which I had been dreading as they can never get my veins. However the appointment went really well. 9a.m first blood test after fasting from 10p.m, followed by a special drink. Then the usual checks and got to hear babies heartbeat again. (I never get over how amazing this is!) Midwife was concerned with how I was feeling though and as I had a two hour wait before the second blood test she got me in to see the doctor who was able to confirm while babies head was down it wasn't engaged but to get in touch if the pain gets worse. After this the pain began to ease thankfully, becoming less frequent, however definitely experiencing Braxton hicks! Pressure is still here but must be the new position the baby is in and it's growing weight. Second blood test went smoothly too, yay! I was glad that was over.
Friday, brought my first appointment with my new rheumatologist consultant. Another awful experience so it will also be the last, I have requested a change of consultant. She had the inability to listen and could not seem to understand I constantly ache and I'm in pain. She kept saying, "well IF it's psoriatic arthritis", "if it's bursitis". OMG, the 4 minutes she spent reading my notes evidently were not enough. I have arthritis and have done for over 10 years now. I was on a cocktail of drugs before suspending them so I could safely have a baby. I am in constant pain and live with it everyday. This appointment was so that I could discuss other drugs available to try once baby arrives and have it available to commence immediately following birth. Instead, she'll see me after the birth and talk about it then. As I say she had the inability to listen! So the hour and 20 minute wait for my appointment and the appointment itself was a complete waste of time. Looks like again I will have to rely on my persistence to push through the pain until I have the chance to see a capable rheumatologist which can at least try and help make my life more comfortable.
While I was in the appointment I chased up my physio appointment which the Locum had requested at the start of September; which I was told I'd get an appointment for within 2 weeks to try and help my hip pain, to hopefully alleviate some of it prior to labour. I had called at the start of October to chase it up to be told it was still going through the triage system as they had a backlog and I would have an appointment soon. Friday the receptionist told me they were up to date, and had no request for my physio so I would need the consultant to do another referral. So i requested this and nearly had the referral form in my hand, when she decided she wanted to look at my hip. At this point she decided she wanted to send me for an ultrasound before I had any physio. The receptionist sent me to the ultrasound department saying they would just do it the same day. After getting lost in the hospital corridors I found myself (with the help of a porter) in the ultrasound department. I checked with a staff member as there was no receptionist that I was in the right place. I was and only had 25 minute wait for the department to open. So more sitting around waiting and when the receptionist turned up we were then told that they would make me and appointment and send it through in the post. Excellent, so now it looks like I'll have 3-4+ weeks wait for the ultrasound of my hip and then they will decide if I should have physio which is what i want to try and help the pain as I will continue with 'no drugs' for the health of my baby! No doubt it will then take 3-4 weeks to get a physio appointment. So if I am lucky I might get the physio before I pop! BUT with only 11 weeks left its going to be a close call.

I cant wait to be able to blog, one day, that I have had an awesome and really productive appointment. The 3 and a bit hours at the hospital was torture!!! I hate hospitals.

On a lighter note my little one is very active and keeps kicking me to remind me of its presence. Still weighing less than I was at the start of the pregnancy, I am trying to enjoy it all as much as possible. 29 weeks and 1 day today, not long left!!!!

Pregnancy Diet?

The 20 week scan was fabulous, we got to see our little baby again and it was amazing at how much it had grown. I was shocked by how detailed the scan was, you could see all the tiny little bones which make up the spine, the heart chambers and the brain. This is now so real, its actually a little person growing inside of me. I was also very amazed that I weigh less now than I did when I first found out I was pregnant, Pregnancy diet?

Baby is wriggling around lots, it seems to only settle down in the morning but moves constantly other than that. Its a nice reassurance though that baby is doing well.

Unfortunately I haven't had a very good few weeks. The morning sickness came back and on top of that I was constantly dizzy and felt as though I was going to collapse. Lots of tests and all came back clear. The Dr gave me strict orders to rest (which could be the worst thing anyone could say to me), and carry on making sure I am eating and drinking enough. But I have done as I am told and now starting to feel better and looking forward to going back to work on Monday. I'll be 23 weeks!!! And only 11 weeks left at work, one of which I am on holiday. This pregnancy really is flying past, its making me wonder if everything will be ready in time for baby's arrival.

An expected outcome

I received my 2 month follow up Rheumy appointment through the post yesterday as they couldn't book it when I was there the other day. 3rd April 2013, hmmmm??? Now my maths may not be the best, but I do know that more than 6 months away rather than 2 months. An expected outcome I suppose following the disastrous appointment. So I had the hassle today of calling to sort that out.

I seem to have had a unwanted return of my morning sickness, spending the majority of yesterday bent over the toilet. Luckily today the vomiting had stopped but the nausea has stayed around all day. I was not expecting this, I thought I had seen the back of it; fingers crossed it doesn't hang around for too long. 20 weeks left and I don't want to spend those with my head over the toilet. And just when I'd started really enjoying being pregnant!

OK I'm not too hot on law, but not impressed today when I tried to purchase tickets to a Peter Andre concert on 15th December. It was going to be my gift to my best friend for her 30th birthday, so absolutely gutted by the result. I have been trying to get tickets since July. The venue have been appalling at getting back to me. They returned my call once at which point I asked if it was a seated event or standing event. I was told it was standing at which point I asked if they have disabled facilities as not only do I have arthritis and could not stand for the length of a concert but at the time I will also be 34 weeks pregnant. He told me they have a raised disabled section towards the back but he would need to check what was available with the venue organiser and would get back to me. He didn't. Throughout August I was calling every few days to get an answer, I left voicemails every time as there was no answer, and as of today my call had still not been returned. So I have called again and was told due to health and safety as it is a standing event they cannot provide any seating. So in actual fact they will not accommodate for the disabled. Absolutely gutted, I feel I have let my best friend down! It really does suck having this disease. I know I would probably need to sit down anyway due to how pregnant I will be, but it would be the same if I wasn't pregnant. I feel so disappointed, surely there should be some law in force to prevent this obvious disregard for equal opportunity?

Another great REASSURANCE from the NHS

Today I had my rheumatology appointment.

I had been thrilled at my last appointment to be told i wouldnt need to be seen again until after the baby had been born; which was fine by me as I had been managing well. It was sad however as Dr C said it was the last time i'd be seeing him as he had a job elsewhere. He had been looking after me since my arthritis was first suspected. Unfortunately, a week after this appointment my arthritis started flaring - the main problem being in my hips and not being able to put weight on them but also swelling and pain in my lower limbs and hands. I wasn't expecting an easy pregnancy but I was hoping i'd be one of the lucky ones whose arthritis would go into remission for this time. Still i'm plodding on. Its been six weeks since the flare started and things have become much easier again, however joints keep playing up intermittently and are quite stiff. Just trying to keep mobile.

So back to the appointment today, I have been stewing over it the last couple of days; as i was a bit nervous about seeing my new consultant for the first time as well as it being the chance to ask some important questions about certain aspects to consider, now, at the birth and after. After sitting in traffic longer than I expected I reached my appointment with a minute to spare, and my pregnant bladder desperate to be emptied. I dont know why I was expecting to be seen on time.

I was called in by Dr S, not in the usual fashion 'Mrs Grant' or 'Charlotte' or 'Charlotte Grant' but instead 'Grant, Charlotte' which I didnt really appreciate and to be honest wasnt a good starting point. Next I see the Dr pick up my records at the same time I am entering his room. So he has no clue about me, OK. So when he asked me how I was doing I thought I'd help him out a bit by responding 'Dr C didnt want to see until after having my baby as I was managing well when I saw him but a week later I started flaring.' Nope, obviously this was not enough as I was next asked 'How olds the baby?' ARGHHH!! NO, I'm 20 weeks pregnant, obviously he just thought I was a fat cow. So I correct him and explain the flare and where I have been experiencing symptoms. Obviously, sods law I was having one of my better days today so hard for him to see. He carried out an examination and at least could see the pain my left hip is causing me. He therefore decided to refer me to a physio, which I am happy with, as obviously drugs carry too many risks in pregnancy so anything else I can do to help is a bonus.

I had the questions I had pre-prepared as I wasnt expecting another visit between now and after the birth. So I start by trying to find out with him if the inflammation in my back will pose any problems or complications if an epidural or spinal block was needed in labour or in the event of a caesarean. He agreed this was a very valid question but couldnt understand why i'd have inflammation in my back. I explained that I suffer with pain in my back, especially the lower back and coccyx. He told me this was to be expected in pregnancy at which point I had to correct him saying my arthritis has always affected my back. He therefore checked a lumbar xray from 2010 and confirmed it should be fine. I was looking for more of a confident answer bearing in mind the situation of inflammation could very well have changed since 2010.

Next I went on to explain that I would like to go back on medication as soon as possible after the birth and therefore wanted to discuss this so it could be ready to start. I mentioned I didnt want to go back onto Methotrexate. No question was asked as to why, and I was shocked by the next thing which came out of his mouth. 'Well there's Leflunomide.' If you are a regular reader you may remember that this was the drug I was initially told I had to be off for a year before trying to conceive but when it came to it they had changed this and said 2 years, so I had to go through a wash out procedure and then wait ages for special blood tests to confirm it was out of my system. At this time I was told (and it was coroborated with information I was able to find on the internet) that this drug is no longer given to women of child bearing age. Not only am I definitely of child bearing age but the Dr didnt even establish if I was likely to have any more children. I told him I wouldnt be going back onto that either but it scared me that this was suggested so easily and makes me wonder how many other women which may want children are still having this prescribed to them. I think I will discuss my medication at my next appointment as I will be seen again in 2 months.

The last question was advice on whether i should let the obstetric consultant know about my recent flare up, as I saw her also when I was managing well and on that basis she had said she wouldnt need to see me again until 34 weeks. Dr S, said he see's no reason as its just 'a mild flare up'. Yes mild now! Not 6 weeks ago. I think I will ask this question at my 20 weeks scan next week instead.

So i'm given my follow up appointment sheet to take to reception and notice he had written my name as 'Charles Grant', so not only am I fat, not of child bearing age, but I am obviously also a MAN! At reception I had to ask if this was my new consultant as in all honesty I had expected a woman from what I had been told previously. The receptionist said that it was a locum I had just seen covering until my new consultant starts in November. I couldn't help but to respond 'Thank God.' If it had of been my new consultant, I would have been insisting on a change in consultant. My appointment in 2 months should be with my new consultant too so hopefully will find this more beneficial. I made sure to point out to the receptionist the error with my name, I wasnt going to let that go by unnoticed! So now I await my physio appointment to come through.

Not an over impressive day and a bit disheartening as I was expecting to come away with some answers. Now it will just be a waiting game until I can ask these questions to someone which can help and with any luck may be familiar with my notes first.